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Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’

Dear Monday,

I hate you. Here’s why:

You are made up of the most deplorable garbage and rubbish that this world has to offer. You sneak up on me after a relaxing weekend like a rabid possum hiding in the trash can at night. You wake me up at an ungodly hour. Seriously, I’m not even a Christian at 5:30am and yet you demand I meet you then and there. Merciless monster.

You are a reminder of everything I don’t like to think about: how much I need to get done this week, time is fleeting, I am mortal, the polar bears are losing their ice boats, the Loch Ness Monster is dead, John Lennon is dead, I have a hang nail, ECT.

Garfield hates you. That cynical cat taught me everything I know about life. Therefore, I hate you too. (Incidentally, I love lasagna.)

Traffic is always the worst when you come around. I run into more walls when you’re around. I’m always groggy and mad at the world when you’re hovering over me. I don’t have a case of the Mondays. I have a case of the “stupidest day ever”. It’s contagious.

Monday, you are terrible to me. But you know what? 

You are the day that the LORD has made. I will rejoice and be glad in you. Because this is the day, this is the day that the LORD has made.

I rejoice today for his sake. Not for yours, Monday. 

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I’ve got a Norah Jones record playing (currently a duet with Ryan Adams). I’ve got a cupacoffee at my elbow. It’s a dirty blonde with Antarctic proportions of sugar in it. Do I need my coffee to taste like candy? No. As a native-born Texican, I can drink it black. But if it’s possible to get your coffee to taste like candy, why wouldn’t you?

I’ve been thinking about the process of creation lately. I’m not sure how it works for other tortured souls. For me, it looks different in different mediums. If I’m writing words, it’s usually pretty quick (though I cringe and mope through the revisions). If I’m playing in the mud, I just try to keep it out of my eyes. But when I’m writing a song, that’s where I see the greatest distance between taste and ability.

Ira Glass from “This American Life” has some great words on this.

I have the language in my head. I have the harmonic rhythm in my chest. But the melody is hiding under the table. The lyrics are halfway out of bed or halfway smeared on a windshield.

Making a song requires the same discipline as anything else, I guess. It’s like when I was in college, working on Bach or Bottesini. I shaped every phrase. I measured out vibrato in coffee spoons. I strained to control bow speed and weight, listening through bedrock for the sound of a stampede. I even had one teacher tell me to write a poem, describing what I “felt” the Bach cello suite No.1 was about. It ended up sounding like a very sad Dr. Seuss story about cats. Never again…

There’s one particular clam I’m trying to pop right now. It’s called “Honey & Moonlight”. I tried to think of what I would call someone to show them how much I cared. Instead of “sunshine” or “doll” or “sweet cheeks” (which are not my favorite things and, therefore, not legitimate terms of endearment), I opted for honey and moonlight. They are two of my favorite things and I can think of no better combination to describe someone I like.

For a couple of years now, it’s only been a handful of words with this haunting, plaintive melody. The people who’ve heard it really like it and wonder what the rest sounds like. So do I.

Stuck. Stuck in the dark, straining to gain momentum. So, I ask you problem solvers: what do you do when you struggle with a problem off and on for a long time? Should I take a walk? Should I take a train to Pawtucket? Should I sing things upside down? How do you overcome writer’s block?

(So grateful that Jesus never gets writer’s block. Constantly speaking the world.)

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Punsters are individuals who are blessed with the ability to see and create puns in everyday conversation. They do this via wordplay, homophones, homonyms, and being comedic geniuses.

If you know a punster, you’ve probably rolled your eyes more than a few times. You may even have tried to punish them for being hilarious. This post is intended to help you understand and love the punsters in your life. I’m no pundit, but I’ll try to help. I only have twenty minutes.

1.) Laugh. While an honest punster makes puns for the sheer pleasure and joy of it, they also appreciate it when other people get the joke. If the joke’s about a forest, branch out and enjoy their sense of humor. It will boost their self-esteem treemendously. If it’s a pun about cows, let the joke moove you to a chuckle. Even if you’ve herd it before, punsters udderly enjoy repeats.

2.) Have patience (even if you’re not a doctor). If nobody laughs at first, a dedicated punster will usually repeat the pun with greater emphasis until you at least acknowledge the genius of it. Nurse their comedic ego back to health. Give them a shot of confidence. Even if it’s complete pundemonium, keep cool.

3.) Join the fun! If their pun is humerus and you feel the kneed to get a leg up on the competition, share your own! Even if it’s lame. Even you feel defeeted afterwords. Don’t kick yourself. You’ll toetally heel. And if the punster is any friend at all, they’ll laugh patiently at the joke. Maybe yule get better by Christmas.

And what do you know? I finished on time. How punctual.

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I’ve written on honesty before, but it’s come up again in my mind. People are messy and it’s great. We’re sloppy, we’re sinful, we’re beautiful, we’re broken, we’re raw, we’re complicated, we’re glorious. And as deep as we are, we can never be fully known by anyone but God himself. But that shouldn’t keep us from trying.

In an interview, writer/musician Tara Leigh Cobble said, “Without honesty, we’re all just trying to impress people and protect ourselves.” I thought about that for a while after I read it. I realized that I agreed with her. The truth is, if I don’t show you who I am, it’s because I’m scared.

I want you to think better of me. I want to minimize the damage vulnerability will bring. So, I don’t show you all my cards. I don’t let you see the real me. And we all do this, every day. It’s dishonesty and it’s how we protect ourselves and it kills any hope for real community.

When we don’t show ourselves fully to other people, we cheat each other out of love. I can’t love a person as I ought (as God loved me) if I’m scared that person won’t love me back. And so we can’t have real and deep community.

God has revealed himself fully to us in the person of Jesus Christ. Christmastime commemorates the honesty of God, his coming to this planet to show us perfectly and profoundly who he is. The baby in the manger was the exact imprint of the Father’s nature (Heb.1:3). Such self-disclosure was an amazing expression of love. So, if I don’t fully disclose myself to another soul, I can’t imitate God (Eph.5:1) as I ought.

It’s only when we show each other who we are, with all our fractured flaws, that we act like our Father in true disclosure. It’s terrifying and it’s difficult, but it’s the only way to be known in deep community. One of the reasons Jesus came was to show us the Father. He gave himself to us so that would happen, so that we could have community with God. This Christmas, let’s give ourselves in honesty to one another. Be brave, be known, and give love.

Merry Christmas.

 

 

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I spent some time with Psalm 33 this morning. Sometimes a certain verse (or even just half a verse) sings that siren lullaby and I’m utterly smitten. Today, it was the second slice of verse 5: “the earth is full of the steadfast love of the LORD” (English Standard Version).

That phrase “steadfast love” enthralled me.

The New American Standard Version translates those words as God’s “lovingkindness”. In the New International Version, it is God’s “unfailing love”. The old King James renders it simply as God’s “goodness”. I love the way Eugene Peterson’s puts it. “Earth is drenched in God’s affectionate satisfaction” (The Message).

Hesed. The “h” is pronounced like the Scottish “loch”. Just cough a couple times and you’ll get it. Then emphasize the second syllable and you’ve got it. Hesed is the English transliteration of the Hebrew word for “steadfast love”. It’s the covenant love of God’s faithfulness to His people. It’s God’s “I’m-not-going-anywhere” love. No matter what we say, what we do, how far we stray, how heinously we sin, God has hesed for us. It is His loyal love. It is a deep, profound, indomitable affection.

And Psalm 33:5 says that the earth is filled with that kind of love. What does that mean?

Open your eyes.

Take a breath.

Sit still and listen.

Every beauty around you, every good thing that benefits you, every soul that cares for you. Those are bright parables of love. Those are striking expressions of the Lord’s hesed. Earth is drenched with it. That shagbark hickory tree that is growing right now in a quiet Colorado acre that no human eye will ever see? That is God’s hesed filling the earth. He is the Creator. He is faithful to His own handiwork. And when it comes to the souls He redeems through the blood of His Son…

Hesed. Faithful, loyal love. He is faithful to us because He is faithful to the blood of His Son. He loves us and has bought us for Himself, for His own good pleasure. That is the type of God we serve. That is the God who fashioned our hearts within the womb. And the earth is filled with that love. We need only look around and be grateful to remind ourselves of His love.

Look. Listen. Breathe. Every crack, every cradle, every canyon, every cold stream: proofs of His ever-faithful love. And He is ever faithful to us in that love.

Be aware.

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Ketchup

Once upon a time, I vowed to be consistent on this blog.

Oops.

I’m currently on fall break from seminary. It’s been nice to have my morning’s back. I’ve watched very little TV and have done a lot of reading and writing. I’m looking forward to answering a few personal letters today. My Cardinals are on the verge of coming back in Game 6 to force a final victory in the World Series. The Rangers? That great and worthy opponent? That quixotic band of dreamers That gallant team from Texas without a Series title? And they think to challenge the mighty Cardinals, a franchise with no less than ten championships? It baffles the mind. I hope Pujols doesn’t cut them too deeply.

Some news on the book front. I’ve decided to pull my story from the publishing house that was courting me. It’s been about 3 months since I first sent my manuscript to them and I think I need to pull back from that whole process. Little progress. So, my little owl story is looking for a new nest. If you have any Christian children’s publishing houses in mind, please let me know. This whole sh’bang is mighty exhausting.

Dearest Tess, You Teach Me Much

I’ve been working my way through Tess of the d’Urbervilles. It’s this beautifully depressing novel by Thomas Hardy. Tess, the heroine of the story, makes herself the victim of most every single thing. Nobody blames Tess more than Tess does. The entire novel is a series of hope and despair, hope and despair. Hardy sets you up for love, and then throws you down in a pit of rejection. Merciless.

Why am I reading it? A few reasons. 1.) A good friend recommended it. 2.) I love sad things. 3.) I feel that, because of reading it, I understand the human condition better.

Let me harp on this last one. I understand that Tess is fictional (more’s the pity), but I’ve known people like her. So have you. They are victimized at every turn and they daily shovel guilt and shame over their own heads. They are convinced no one could ever love them because of the mistakes they’ve made in the past. Tess is a victim of careless physical and crushing emotional abuse. And reading about her generates empathy in my cold soul.

I can put myself in her shoes and feel her pain because I see it all unfolding on the page in front of me. Now, that might sound silly. What good is it if I learn to empathize with some figment of a dead Englishman’s imagination? Tess is a picture of so many faces. If I can learn to feel her pain, I will be better prepared to care for that pain when I see it in the real world.

There is value in fiction. But for a surprising number of Christians today, literature is escapist nonsense at best and a dangerous distraction at worst.

What is Fiction?

There is a certain level of discomfort among Christians with respect to literature. For some, it is a vague uneasiness, a dim and unsettling suspicion. For others, it is sheer mistrust. Fiction, poetry, what the Romantics once called “poesy”: all hazards for the devout Christian soul.

At least, this is one popular misconception.

Fiction is often seen as the opposite of fact. Fiction, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is “that which is imaginatively invented; feigned existence, event, or state of things; invention as opposed to fact.” Opposed to fact. And Christianity is all about facts. Jesus is God. The Bible is God’s Word. Paul was a man. In love with facts, Christians tend to shy away from fiction and poetry as dishonest and silly slight of hand.

For sure, there are many Christians who simply don’t see the value in fiction or poetry. Time is precious and if a Christian is to make the most of her time, should she really spend a few hours reading a Jane Austen novel? If the saints are to be edified, is it worth the effort to bury our noses in a book of verse? Surely, God would have us take our reading seriously. Why bother with a book if it is not Scripture (or if it is not a book about Scripture)?

But there is another historical definition in the OED for fiction: “the species of literature which is concerned with the narration of imaginary events and the portraiture of imaginary characters.” There is “a category of poetry that is truly ‘fictional,’ in the sense that the poet is neither lying nor relating erroneously held views, but is…telling a story that he had made up to be like reality without claiming that it is reality.”[1] It is this flavorful definition of fiction with which I am concerned here.

Is It Real?

Even if the Church seems to be enamored of facts, we need not shun fiction as a tangle of lies. “Truth in the genre of fictional literature, then, is not what is empirically verifiable, but it is what is considered true within a particular conceptual system, whether rooted in an ideological worldview, or, as in the case of Lewis’s Narnia or Tolkien’s Middle Earth, created out of the cloth of the author’s imagination.”[2] There is a shade of truth in fiction that is no less real, though it is “breathed through silver”.

To hold a keen appreciation of literature as antithetical to Christian devotion is both wrong-headed and insensible. For one thing, such a false dichotomy ignores the spiritual titans of church history (Donne, Milton, R.C. Sproul, George MacDonald, and C.S. Lewis, to name a few). If we count hymns as poetry apart from music, we could add old lights like Charles Wesley and Martin Luther as writer-pastors. If fiction and poetry hold no legitimacy in a Christian worldview, we neglect, by extension, the wisdom of our forefathers in the faith. And what a baby to be thrown out with the bath water!

To quote Gene Edward Veith Jr.,

“Fiction lends itself well to the exploration of spiritual issues, since the form gives life to ideas, making them tangible and relating them to human life. . . . And yet, good Christian novels are rare. . . . It is preachy, contrived, and it does not ring true.   The story is often formulaic, and the characters are stock “good guys” or “villains,” with no complexity or inner lives.  The obligatory conversion scene is often unrelated to the on-going plot, coming as an interruption rather than as a believable development in the character’s life.  And, ironically, much of today’s Christian fiction is moralistic, rather than evangelical, presenting good characters to emulate, rather than sinners being forgiven.”[3]

Christians should not be so eager to dismiss fiction because it isn’t “real”. If they do, they do it at the risk of diminishing their own selves. More thoughts on this tomorrow. Oh, hey look! Footnotes!

[1] E. L. Bowie, “Lies, Fiction and Slander in Early Greek Poetry,” in Lies and Fiction in the Ancient World (ed. Christopher Gill and T. P. Wiseman;Austin:University ofTexas Press, 1993), 20–21

[2] Estes, Daniel J., “Fiction and Truth in the Old Testament Wisdom Literature”, in Themelios, vol.35, issue 3, Novemeber 2010

[3] “Fiction as an Instrument for the Gospel: Bo Giertz as Novelist,” published in A Hammer of God: Bo Giertz, 2005, Augsburg Fortress, Minneapolis, MN

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For the County

Fish Out of Water, Onto Very Expensive Land

Last week, I was out of my element. A very nice guy invited me to a breakfast downtown. Through an interesting series of events, I found myself in a room full of the most powerful men in St. Louis. And they some of the nicest men in St. Louis. Yet they were also very business-oriented. When they spoke to you, they spoke with confidence and (in a non-crazy, non-Sheen way) they spoke like winners.  I even had one guy ask me what my “skill set” was. I responded by stuttering. Yeah. I think I made my point.

There I was, eating $200-a-plate scrambled eggs, and hearing about what it looks like to follow Jesus as a rich businessman. One man at my table was describing what repentance looks like for him, casting away his idols. For me, that would be something like watching less T.V. or re-evaluating my priorities. For this guy, it was to sell his Ferrari. I couldn’t really relate. But it was wonderful. I’m glad some wealthy folks know how to use their money like disciples of Christ should.

All around me were big hearts wrapped in business suits. Again, not my normal context. But in the back of the room, I noticed a big guy in his early 30s. Unlike these corporate titans, he was dressed in khaki shorts and a blue t-shirt. And everyone who walked by him stopped to shake his hand and chat. So, at the end of the breakfast, I walked over and introduced myself. I find out that he’s actually the head of a very large urban youth ministry in my city. He lives in north St. Louis, in the middle of the hood, and he loves it.

He tells me his story for about twenty minutes and we talk about our common interest in youth ministry. Towards the end, he invites me to come out to one of their weekly meetings, to see if I want to come on board. My answer surprised me.

“No thanks, man.”

Who I’m Not and Who I Am

I was polite about it. Mama raised me well enough. But I came to a sudden realization about myself. I’m a county man. I was raised in the suburbs all my life and frankly, I don’t want to get shot while trying to play basketball with some kids in the most dangerous city in America. Am I scared? Yup. I’m scared. But it’s more than just being male, middle-class and white.

I’m not wired for ministry in the city. And that’s alright.

I don’t like to rant. But I’ll give it a shot. Sleeves are rolled up. Mouth is foaming. Puppy slippers are on. Let’s do this.

Plea For Balance

There’s a certain model coursing through the veins of the New Calvinist movement. The logic is as follows: God cares about people. More people are in the city than in the county. Therefore, God must care more about the city than the county. Another strain runs like this: the city is the cultural center. Everything of significance in the city will eventually trickle down to the county. So, you win the city to win the county to win the state to win the country to win the world…

Now, there are some absolutely fantastic men of God who are leading the charge in living missionaly in the city. There’s an incredible drive, especially in St. Louis, to be “for the city” and I thank God for that. I so much look up to the pastors who are engaging our urban centers, loving people where there at, and calling them to repentance and faith in Christ. It’s awesome.

But what about the county? Don’t we need a balanced, two-pronged approach to redeeming the culture? Jesus loves the suburbs too. Who’s leading the charge into the local Starbucks, into the community pool, into the water park crying, “For the county!” (preferably with blue warpaint and sword)?

Who’s thinking strategically about suburbia? Who’s writing books about missional living in the county? Who’s even raising these questions? I’ve yet to hear a clear voice coming from the other side. We don’t need a competing voice. We need a complementary voice. For the city. For the county. Both and.

The County: The City’s Lame Little Brother

The problem could be very simple. Let’s just compare the contexts of urban and suburban. In the city, you have some very salient challenges. You have violence. You have poverty. There’s human trafficking. Drugs are everywhere. There’s a large homeless population. A human being with an ounce of compassion looks at that context and feels moved. A pastor with a heart for the greater progression of the gospel sees that and he’s ready to be used by God.

On the other hand, what do we see in the county? There are no soup lines. Poverty’s not a huge deal. We don’t have gangs roaming the cul-de-sacs. At my house, the biggest problem is that the lady across the street won’t point her house lights in another direction besides my window. Rough stuff.

The county isn’t sexy. Nobody really wants to go to its party. It isn’t that adventurous. So what happens? Young guys and girls come up through youth groups, Bible colleges and seminaries and they want to light the world on fire for Christ. So where do they go? Uganda. Muslim countries. Unreached people groups in South America. New England (the least churched region in America). The inner city.

But they don’t go to the county. There’s just no romance to it. The waters aren’t as white here, so why put your oar in? The needs don’t look as desperate and bleeding here. The city is needy. The county looks comfortable. But we do have needs. We’re broken people too. The people in the county need Jesus just as much as the folks in the city. Jesus loves them too.

Bloom Where You’re Planted

So yes, by all means, go and transform the city. But while you’re doing that, who’s going to be an instrument in God’s hands to transform the county? We need both. I’m a county man. I was raised here. I am an indigenous missionary. And this is where God has me. He has me here for a reason. He has me here for the county.

Love the city. Love the county. Seek the welfare of both. Keep the balance.

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I wonder how many masterpieces Van Gogh threw in the trash. Among the still life paintings of cabbages and rats, between lilies and blossoming trees, what else was there? What if Vincent painted an absolute gem on some scrap paper, deemed it rubbish, and then chucked it. He was a creative genius. Yes, he labored like any other artist. But he created so much art over his short life. It’s more than likely that there was beauty that never saw the light of day. He had talent to burn, and we don’t have all the fruits of his labor.

Yesterday evening, I saw one of the most ravishing St. Louis sunsets I’ve ever been blessed with. I’m surprised I didn’t wreck my car on the drive home. The sky was absolutely flirting with me and I couldn’t keep my eyes off it. Feathery clouds off tangerine cream, glowing like summer’s ghost. Splendid.

Extravagance.

The radiance of that twilight was fleeting. In less than twenty minutes, the sky had smoldered down to a dull blue-grey and I was left feeling lonely. Vincent Van Gogh has nothing on God. What makes God a superior artist? He throws away masterpieces daily. But that doesn’t devalue his art. Sunsets and sunrises are disposable masterpieces, framed by heaven and earth. Last night, he lit the sky and let it burn. And tonight, he’ll do it again. All over the world.

That is extravagance. We see it in the clouds, in light refracted, in the passing sublimity of autumn. God makes throwaway beauty again and again. And he does it with pleasure. Enjoy your sunsets.

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There is a painting by an English painter named Sir Edwin Landseer. The title is “Attachment”. 1829. Oil on canvas.

Every time I look at that painting, I’m flooded with dysphoria. Look it up online. Gaze at it and weep for a while. It was inspired by Sir Walter Scott’s “Hevellyn”. Hevellyn is the third highest peak in England. The story goes that a man went to climb Hevellyn and took his dog with him. On a treacherous slope, the man loses his footing and falls to his death. But the dog, thinking her master is just sleeping, runs down to where he landed and she waits for him to wake up.

The dog waits for days, for weeks. The man’s corpse starts to rot. The dog chases away “hill-fox and raven”, “the much-loved remains of her master defended”. But of course, the man never wakes up. The  faithful little dog eventually dies defending him, waiting for him to wake up.

Are you sad yet?

When I first saw that oil painting, I choked up a little. I’m not the type to get all blubbery in front of a work of art (though I did cry when I saw “Marley & Me” in theaters). But when I saw this painting at the St. Louis Art Museum, I just about lost it. I sniffled and stared and stood before Landseer’s portrayal of that little dog.

But so what?

Sir Edwin Landseer got me thinking about loyalty. Who would I defend long after they were dead? I mean, physically, whose corpse would I guard? These are the things I think about when I get back from the art museum.

Family members? To be sure. Friends? Probably one or two. But why isn’t that number higher? Why isn’t my sense of duty to others higher? Certainly, I’m not suggesting we ingratiate ourselves to dogged, selfless devotion for others. Or am I?

I don’t think any less of the dog for guarding her dead master. I think more of her. I don’t belittle such a stupid creature for not knowing the difference between death and sleep. I marvel at the affection that a dog can have for a human. And if a dog, created by God to do so, can be loyal to that extreme, why can’t I? And I don’t have to wait for a friend to fall to his death while mountain climbing in England. I could just be loyal and loving and devoted right now. I don’t have to stage their premature death. I should cherish them now.

We could learn a lot from that little dog in the picture, if we’re not too proud to seek it there.

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If you haven’t read G.K. Chesterton, please do. Please, please do. He will smear your eyes over with dirt mixed in truth and you will weep for ecstasy at the sight. That man took a particular delight in turning things sideways, weaving a spell, and then showing them off to you again. Chesterton understood the “splendid sensationalism of things”. to my mind, his only heir apparent is N.D. Wilson. Trevin Wax writes sharply about our current need for truth that stings. It is my aim. And that’s why I read Chesterton. Please read Chesterton. Start here.

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